PCOS Part III: Depression (the less discussed symptom) & Fatigue

In previous posts we discussed both misdiagnosis and symptoms of PCOS. 

I don't deal with all the symptoms but many of them. I quickly glossed over one very important symptom; and that's depression.
Last winter I dealt with the worst of my depression and it led to my lack of motivation among many other problems. I felt bad that I wasn't active. I blamed it on the weather (and sure that still plays a role) but the weather got warmer and while I did do more, it took everything I had to push myself to be active. As soon as the weather began to get colder this past fall, I began to become weary of the upcoming winter and decided to find ways of remaining active. My concern through all this has been my little one. I didn't want my child to suffer due to whatever I was going through. So the solution for both problems has been registering my little one (and myself) to classes (I'm doing it through the town) to keep busy. This was also an integral part in helping me (and my little one) forge new friendship (as for me, most of my friends were a fair distance away and made to feel even further by the lack of a license). 

(A personal side note:The lack of my drivers license has actually been the root of too many issues for me. And it's a problem I can't resolve. I took Young Driver classes and it did nothing for me as I was unable to practice in between. And I've been unable to practice because I can't drive with my toddler in tow and risk my little one's life. And leaving my little one behind isn't an option either as I'm a Stay At Home Mom and it doesn't make sense to spend the money on babysitting (if I could find a sitter to trust). So this problem has been my shackles.)

I'm glad I've pushed myself to go out and do more through the classes in town. But it wasn't until my diagnosis that I understood the true reason for my lack of motivation and feelings of depression. 

In my research and discussions, I've found not enough, if any, "cysters" discussing depression. This ‎in part is because that's not the symptom that led to the diagnosis, so it's given less importance. Generally speaking there are two major topics of conversations that I encountered and they are: trying to conceive (ttc) and missing periods. It's understandable why these two are important and why they are discussed, but I question why depression isn't part of the discussion. Is it the taboo about mental health and the label(s) associated with it? 

I've found counselors helpful throughout elementary and high-school. I valued it a little less during my first year university as the counselors there leaned towards a Christian approach and so I couldn't at the time openly discuss what I was experiencing and questioning with my sexual orientation amongst other personal battles. So I was relieved when in my second year I moved to a secular university and soon, I began to seek counselling again. ‎I never thought of it as taboo. I remember one particular visit to a counselor who summed my visits best as: "you're coming here so I can tell you that you are not crazy. You're not crazy." :)

I found the outside perspective of what I was going through very helpful and it taught me many coping mechanisms that I still often use. It also enhanced my analytical understanding of myself and those around me. 

After I graduated, I contemplated seeking a counselor. And in hindsight, I probably would've benefited from a few visits. But instead I relied on my friends to be my sounding board. And I'm thankful for my many friends who did this. 

When given the opportunity, I reflect upon myself and try to gain as much insight. That is how I managed to realize I was depressed (despite not understanding the root cause) and how I began to push myself towards getting myself out of that slump. ‎It's not easy. 

I'm thankful for my friends and for my past to have allowed me to stop the possibility of a downward spiral. 

For other PCOS cysters, don't be quite about your battles with depression. Let your voice be heard.

I want to also briefly discuss a symptom that I forgot to mention in my previous post and is somewhat related to this one and it is fatigue. I have the unlucky pleasure of having both PCOS and thalassemia minor; both are fatigue causing. ‎That means that even if I get my PCOS in check, I'll continue to feel tired all the time due to thalassemia. This has affected me at work when I worked jobs that were labour intensive. This has also affected me with my little one as some of the most minor things to most people means I need a day or two of resting to recooperate from. Holidays tend to have that affect on me. From the outside looking in, it sometimes looks like laziness, not knowing or understanding the medical reasons behind it. And it's easy when feeling depressed to further put yourself down by thinking of yourself as lazy because you didn't get simple tasks done that day. It's a frustrating internal battle that needs to be voiced. If you're out there, reading this with your own battles of fatigue and depression, I'm writing this to remind you, you're not alone.