jad•ed
[jey-did]
-adj.
made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit ~ Merriam-Webster
My most recent job was as an assistant store manager at one of the telecommunication companies. I went on maternity leave with expectations of returning. I had the baby and my expectations changed with the responsibility.
After much deliberation, I decided to child-lead wean my child. Which meant that when my maternity leave was over, I wasn't able to go back. I tried to extend my leave unsuccessfully. So I quit.
I had been so busy working, then with the pregnancy and then with my recent wedding that only now I've had time to reflect.
I've changed.
And it's not in the way I would've liked to.
And it dawned on me, that due to working my last job, I've become very jaded.
I'd heard friends say that before but this is the first time I feel it myself to this extent.
I used to be more hopeful. I used to be more positive.
I remember when others would think the worst of some but I'd be the only one trying to defend them. I believed that everyone is capable of good and that most had good intentions.
Have you heard it quoted that money is the root of all evil? They're misquoting the bible. The verse in 1 Timothy actually says "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil".
The LOVE of money, not money itself.
Working for a big telecommunication corporation on a commission based pay made me realize how true that statement is.
I want to see the good in people again. I'm tired of thinking the worst of people. I don't know how everyone does this without feeling bothered by it.
We're flawed beings, expected to make mistakes, but not to intentionally make them.
When we watch a "feel good" movie, almost always there's someone(s) who show a great act of kindness or love to another that's beyond expectations.
Isn't it sad that those acts are not the norm but the minority that we desire and seek. Isn't it sad that we must turn to fiction (or occasionally a work based on non-fiction) to make us "feel good".
There's very little I miss about church, but inspiration to do small acts of kindness would be one of them. A pastor once made some suggestions as how to "bless" another person's day. One of the examples was that while at a coffee shop's drive-thru to pay for the next customer's order. A simple act, small cost and great reward to your fellow.
I used to do small acts of kindness often but now it's become rarely. Part of the reason is definitely how jaded I've become.
I'm making a conscious decision to be positive again.
"each breath is recycled from someone else's lungs
our enemies are the very air in disguise"
[jey-did]
-adj.
made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit ~ Merriam-Webster
My most recent job was as an assistant store manager at one of the telecommunication companies. I went on maternity leave with expectations of returning. I had the baby and my expectations changed with the responsibility.
After much deliberation, I decided to child-lead wean my child. Which meant that when my maternity leave was over, I wasn't able to go back. I tried to extend my leave unsuccessfully. So I quit.
I had been so busy working, then with the pregnancy and then with my recent wedding that only now I've had time to reflect.
I've changed.
And it's not in the way I would've liked to.
And it dawned on me, that due to working my last job, I've become very jaded.
I'd heard friends say that before but this is the first time I feel it myself to this extent.
I used to be more hopeful. I used to be more positive.
I remember when others would think the worst of some but I'd be the only one trying to defend them. I believed that everyone is capable of good and that most had good intentions.
Have you heard it quoted that money is the root of all evil? They're misquoting the bible. The verse in 1 Timothy actually says "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil".
The LOVE of money, not money itself.
Working for a big telecommunication corporation on a commission based pay made me realize how true that statement is.
I want to see the good in people again. I'm tired of thinking the worst of people. I don't know how everyone does this without feeling bothered by it.
We're flawed beings, expected to make mistakes, but not to intentionally make them.
When we watch a "feel good" movie, almost always there's someone(s) who show a great act of kindness or love to another that's beyond expectations.
Isn't it sad that those acts are not the norm but the minority that we desire and seek. Isn't it sad that we must turn to fiction (or occasionally a work based on non-fiction) to make us "feel good".
There's very little I miss about church, but inspiration to do small acts of kindness would be one of them. A pastor once made some suggestions as how to "bless" another person's day. One of the examples was that while at a coffee shop's drive-thru to pay for the next customer's order. A simple act, small cost and great reward to your fellow.
I used to do small acts of kindness often but now it's become rarely. Part of the reason is definitely how jaded I've become.
I'm making a conscious decision to be positive again.
"each breath is recycled from someone else's lungs
our enemies are the very air in disguise"
2 comments:
If there is one thing I've learned in life its that you need to make an effort to be nice and to be mean.
I hope some of that positivity is focused on yourself!
You cannot express positivity outwards if you don't start inward. "I'm starting with the [wo]man in the mirror" :p
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